After crying for many nights, I decided never to have any dealings(Worship/recognition) for God.
I'm done with "our God is Good". I'm done with "He is a merciful Father" Am done with He can do all things.
I stopped attending church services, I stopped praying and I took my bible and locked it up.
Gradually, I drifted into the world of delusions.
My family was far away. I didn't grow up with them anyways.
My farm became my best pal. The green leaves became my illumination. I wasn't sure of what I was doing but I sure wanted to prove something. I wanted to prove to God that I can absolutely do without Him.
Well, it never happened!
A year later, I reconciled back to God after a ministration in a church. I discovered I cannot fight God. He does His own thing His ways and at His own time.
Years later, I also got to know that God had a very good reason why He took my granddad away. He took him away and gave me back my family.
He took him away to showed me how to live with little or no supervision. He took him away and taught me how to say no to sexual advances from men.
He took him away and showed me that He has bigger and better plans for me. I was okay to marry just any man that can take care of my needs at that time but when He taught me, I learnt to look beyond a man meeting my needs.
I learnt to fulfil purpose and achieving great feats.
You know, each time I look back, all I could see was the opposite of Job who gave up on God. I saw a girl who gave up too easily. I saw a girl who did not understand her God well enough. I saw a girl who allowed the situations to confuse her that God is dead!
Right Now?
I am a woman who has come to love and adore God. I am a woman who have chosen to see the good in all situations and to trust God completely for answers. I see a woman, who knows, understands and is living her purpose.
I see a woman who would stop at nothing to see lives impacted and minds liberated. I see a strong woman.
I am not ashamed of my past because it taught me to be more focused in my future.
I will lend out my pen at this moment. But then,
What was your reactions when the chips were down?
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